Psychologists call adolescence crisisand even dangerous. It was at this time the boys and girls grow dramatically, changing and externally and internally. During this period, the child usually soul-searching, he tries to realize his "I" in the world.
Furthermore, in adolescents undergoing significanthormonal changes in the body, psychological state becomes unstable: a child's mood changes dramatically, it is for no apparent reason can yell at the parents or suddenly burst into tears ...
Teens are covered by one desire - by all meansall costs look older. If earlier a child obediently ran errands parents, but now he is able to rebel against domestic responsibilities. The teenager may seem that his rights are infringed, and he begins to express their dissatisfaction.
Psychologists point out that a childadolescence all the forces fighting for their freedom. To do this, he can create a scandal, to leave the house, try to smoke and even drink. In this situation, adults need to remember that their fumes is not so much freedom, how to demonstrate to them the right to make their own decisions. Therefore parents to avoid conflict and try to calmly talk to the child on an equal footing.
How to understand the adolescent
Often parents do not understand whyExcellent boy turned into uncontrollable bully and modest girl became boorish girl. Psychologists explain that there is nothing surprising in such metamorphoses: so teens want to improve their credibility among peers, to become leaders in the classroom, but sometimes doing it just to spite their parents and teachers.
Typically, a teenager can during the transition periodgo to extremes. That he would do as an adult judiciously, then suddenly turn into a moody child and make a bunch of nonsense. A teenager can dramatically change their hobbies are that interested in street dancing, then switch to parkour or parachuting.
Communication with teenager
Teenagers can get into Transition inunpleasant situation. In these cases, they often turn in on themselves, and even stopped to communicate with the outside world. This is an alarming signal for the adults, which means that the child needs help urgently. It is likely that a teenager at that time experiencing severe stress. In this situation, an adult can recommend the following:
- To be ready at any time to communicate with his son or daughter;
- Without interrupting, patiently listen to the child. Please be aware that if a teenager says something adult, then trust him. It is therefore necessary to try to avoid being scare of his confidence;
- No limits for a teenager too many claims and did not have high expectations. Such moral burden difficult to bear even an adult;
- Pay attention to the positive qualities of the child, more than praise it and fully support.
Educate by example
Experts claim that teenagers desperatelyfeel any hypocrisy on the part of adults. So parents, before demanding from a son or daughter, for example, to clean their room, by the need to put things in order in the apartment often and bring up their child by example.
Psychologists warn that awkward age - quite heavy and responsible and it is time for teenagers and their parents.
Parents suffer the question: "What degree of freedom to give the child?". And everyone responds to it in their own way. But most importantly, according to psychologists, adults need to adhere to the golden rule - do not go too far.
Experts identify two categories of mothers and fathers. First give their child complete freedom. They let his upbringing to chance, do not know what the company spends time their son or daughter is doing. Of course, adults behave frivolously. Left to itself, the child can get into bad company.
Another type of parents - those that do not give theirdaze take a step without their help. They control his thoughts and actions, ignoring the person. Enhanced control of parents - is another extreme. "I know what is best for my child" - says mothers and fathers of this type. However, in the future, their child will not be easy to make decisions, because for him everything is always decided by adults.
How to learn to understand a teenager
Most importantly - parents need to understand that theirchild - a person who has feelings and weaknesses, their opinions, views. And the task of adults - maintain a teenager and, if necessary, to help him.
Psychologists warn: many children are in their teens like to experiment, putting on a variety of behavioral masks. Moreover, these masks are not always positive. Parents of such experiments are often withdrawn from themselves. Meanwhile, adults need to remember that in this way a teenager trying to find her place in the world. Chances are that these extravagant antics over time will pass.
How to help your teen
It is important that the teenager knew that, despiteon their mistakes, bad in school and problems with peers, he always has a reliable friend - home, loving parents, to whom he is in any difficult situation can come to them for help.
Tips for parents to communicate with a teenager
Interests Hobbies child.
Be aware of his favorite computer games and films.
Listen to music with your child his favorite band. Celebrate if you liked something your child will be pleasantly surprised and very pleased.
Remember, praise does not happen much.
Although it seems that the teenager adult heIt is still in need of moral support. If a kid plays soccer; praise him for every goal scored. If the child is enthusiastically riding on a skateboard, admire the work it difficult trick. If your daughter embroider pictures, sincerely surprised her unusual work.
More often talk with the child.
Despite the heavy workload, findtime to communicate with their children. It is better to ask young people questions that they will be able to give a detailed answer, rather than trying to get rid stingy "yes" or "no." It is best to talk with your child, as it were by the way - in the kitchen while cooking dinner or going to school, not concentrating on communicating special attention.
Think of his youth
To better understand adolescent psychologists adviseparents remember yourself in 13 years. You can ask for help with this and grandparents. It will be interesting to find their old stuff to sort pictures, and then tell you about myself as a teenager son or daughter, the then remembering their experiences. Surely after that teen opens an adult on the other, unexpected side.
Parents need time to become a teenage child older friend for him dealing on equal terms. We must strive to base the relationship with the child reigned mutual understanding and trust.